If you are worried about your harmful behaviour to a loved one, family member or others close to you, then we want to help support you to stop using abusive behaviour.
People can change – but if you want to change, you will need to be determined and, as much as possible, surround yourself with people who will support that change, and challenge you when they see old, unhelpful behaviours. Changing old habits and behaviours is hard, but it is easier if you are supported by family, friends, or others who know you.
Attending a non-violence programme has helped a lot of people to change the behaviours they are using that are harmful, and to instead use respectful and safe behaviours towards their partner, ex-partner, children, and others close to them.
Shine runs a non-violence programme in Auckland, with group programmes for men and individual programme for some men, women and non-binary adults. Our programme and other similar programmes throughout NZ, provide a welcoming environment where men can talk openly with other men and facilitators about their use of abusive behaviours, challenge each other to own those behaviours and support each other to change.
In our experience, you need to take responsibility for your behaviour and be willing to talk about it honestly in order to change it. If you’re ready to take that step there are options for help below.
FIND YOUR LOCAL NON-VIOLENCE PROGRAMME
You can ring Shine’s Helpline at 0508-744-633 to find a programme near you or another helpline option is the Family Violence Information Line (AreYouOK) at 0800-456-450. Both of these lines are 24/7 and free to call from any phone in New Zealand.
Shine is a member of Te Kupenga Whakaoti Mahi Patunga (the National Network of Family Violence Services), so you can also look on their website to find a programme near you as many non-violence programmes throughout the country are listed on this website: www.nnfvs.org.nz
You can find a full list of Ministry of Justice approved non-violence programme providers here – look for the Register of safety and non-violence programme providers.
Māori and Pasifika men might also want to check out the Inner Boy app created by She’s Not Your Rehab as a free and accessible platform to start your journey of change.
Note: We use the term ‘family violence’ which is defined under the Family Violence Act 2018. This Act replace the Domestic Violence Act 1995, and ‘domestic violence’ means the same thing. ‘Family harm’ is a term used by NZ Police that does not have a legal basis.