Has your partner or someone close to you ever…
· Tried to strangle or ‘choke’ you? (put hands around your neck)
· Tried to stop you from breathing by putting hands around your neck, pressing against your throat, or covering your mouth and nose to stop you from breathing?
If this has happened to you – only once or many times - then you could be in danger of being seriously injured or killed.
We encourage you to ring Shine’s Helpline 0508-744-633, or another family violence service, to discuss your situation and the options available to support you to become safe.
It is always important to seek medical advice from a doctor as soon as possible and let them know you have been strangled. People only have visible injuries about half of the time, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have internal damage. Even if it has been a few days, you should still seek medical advice.
Strangulation is very dangerous
Strangulation is when pressure is applied on or around the neck with enough force to stop someone breathing, which means that no oxygen or blood is flowing to the brain. Pressure can be applied in different ways – with one or both hands, or with something like a rope, or anything putting pressure across the throat.
Strangulation is a common and very dangerous way for abusers to control their victims by making them feel afraid or intimidated. Smothering, such as with a pillow, can also control victims with fear.
Abusive partners often minimise strangulation and say things like ‘But I never hit you.’ But strangulation is often more dangerous than hitting, punching or kicking. If you’ve been strangled by a partner or ex-partner, you are in greater danger of being seriously injured or killed by them in the future.
The seriousness of this behaviour is recognised by New Zealand law, as non-fatal (not causing death) strangulation and suffocation is a criminal offence, punishable by up to 7 years’ imprisonment.
External pressure around neck
Difficulty breathing, pain
↓
Brain deprived of oxygen
Dizziness, weakness of limbs, ‘popping’ eyes, blurred vision
↓
Blacking out, fainting, loss of consciousness
7-15 seconds
↓
Death
1-2.5 minutes
If you notice (or your family/friends notice) any of these problems after you have been strangled or suffocated, it’s important to return to the hospital or call an ambulance, because even if there are no visible injuries, there may be serious internal injuries such as brain damage:
• Sleepy or hard to wake up
• Problems with breathing
• Swelling of your tongue/throat
• Confused (feeling muddled)
• Seizure (falling down & shaking)
• Bad headache or neck pain
• Red spots (burst blood vessels) in or around your eyes
• Vomiting (throwing up)
• Feeling weak or numb
• Problems with seeing, speaking, or understanding someone talking
• Vaginal bleeding or reduced baby movements (if you are pregnant)
You may experience these problems which should get better within a few days, but if they last longer than that, it’s important to see a doctor.:
• Mild headache
• Feeling tired or easily annoyed
• Difficulty sleeping
• Bruises to face, neck or chest
• Croaky or hoarse voice
Tell your doctor you have been strangled, so they know what to look for. Ask the doctor to document any injuries for future reference and potentially as evidence.
There is no safe way to strangle someone
Strangulation or ‘breathe play’ is becoming more commonly used during sex. This may be consensual (you have said ‘yes’) or it may be something your partner does that you feel uncomfortable about, or even afraid of. Even if you say yes, at any point you have the right to change your mind. But when the brain gets less oxygen during strangulation, people may forget they can stop it, or find themselves unable to speak or move. Strangulation is always dangerous because it can cause long term injury and death. There is no safe way to strangle someone.
Psychological and Emotional harm
Many people feel really scared and think they might die while they’re being strangled. This can affect you even after physical injuries heal. You might:
• Have trouble sleeping
• Get ‘flashbacks’ or sudden memories of the event
• Feel anxious, worried, sad, upset or depressed
• Think about hurting yourself or ending your life
• Feel more scared of your partner / the person who strangled you
If you are in danger, ring Police on 111.
Here are some things that might help if you’re experiencing any of these things and able to do these things for yourself:
• Take Panadol for a mild headache or mild pain, and keep taking any normal medication
• Rest and take extra care of yourself
• Take time off work or school if you feel you need to. If you’re an employee, you are entitled to ten days per year of paid family violence leave in addition to other forms of leave. Talk to Shine’s Helpline to learn more.
• Avoid driving for at least 24 hours
• Don’t take sleeping pills for 3 days, and avoid alcohol or using any other drugs until you are feeling better
• Don’t play any sport where you could injure your head/neck for at least 3 weeks
• Talk to someone you trust about what is happening
• Ring Shine’s Helpline (24/7) for emotional support, information, help with planning for safety and wellbeing, and referrals for other services. We can just listen if that’s what you need. Call for free from any phone 0508-744-633 or chat online at www.2shine.org.nz.
Note: We use the term ‘family violence’ which is defined under the Family Violence Act 2018. This Act replace the Domestic Violence Act 1995, and ‘domestic violence’ means the same thing. ‘Family harm’ is a term used by NZ Police that does not have a legal basis.